Clown Exposed: Jordan Peterson Claims Hezbollah Wants to Destroy the North Pole

Listening to Jordan Peterson—self-styled sage of dragons, serpents, and spiritual monsters—lecture on why the West must strike Iran ‘before it’s too late’ is a grim reminder of what happens when political discourse falls into the hands of men who mistake fantasy novels for foreign policy manuals. Although he kept his arsenal of fantasy idioms to minimum, the underlying reasoning of his article wasn’t less caricaturistic than the rest of his self-help philosophical ejaculation, whereby an enemy, an attack, and a counter attack are all fantasized and reacted to, in their complete absence.

For the record, in all his hundreds of speeches and countless words, I doubt Nasrallah has ever uttered the name ‘Canada,’ nor hinted at any connection to that remote neighbor of the North Pole. And why should he? Canada is distant, irrelevant to Lebanon and Iran—its only military brush with the region coming through Afghanistan and its role in NATO. Yet the dragon- riding charlatan from the frozen North insists he must sound the alarm and strike ‘before it’s too late:

The Islamic Republic of Iran and its terrorist proxies have unequivocally declared themselves devoted to the destruction of the West. Again and again, their intentions have been clearly stated: first to destroy Israel and then to move against their true enemy, America, and the rest of the West. There is no need to accept our claims about the worldview and plans of this regime; their own people and members of the Iranian diaspora speak to that bravely and with moral clarity.

If by ‘destruction of the West’ Charlatan Peterson means dismantling its military footprint in the Middle East, then count me guilty—because I want that too, just like most people across the Middle East, Africa, China, Okinawa, Russia, South America, Germany, and countless others around the globe. That is the only sense in which Iran could mean the ‘destruction of the West’: the expulsion of foreign armies from its own backyard. The same desire you and I would have if Russian troops set up camp in New York, Paris, or Kyiv.

But if Charlatan Peterson wants us to believe that Iran and Hezbollah would launch missiles at Vancouver, and Toronto, for no reason other than their own demonic hatred for the West, and even without a Western military camped a stone’s throw from Iran’s borders, then perhaps he should return to his true calling as a self-help mystic and dragon trainer, instead of moonlighting as a geopolitical sage.